I Learned a New Phrase

I was on Instagram scrolling the other day and came across a term I’ve never heard before. This phrase apparently has a long history, particularly amongst the LGBTQIA+ community. This term is “a lavender marriage.”

I’ve become a bit of a loner so I don’t really hang around with any of my friend groups that I used to know.  A lot of my friends are members of this community (including me – panromantic demisexual). So maybe I’ve just fallen behind in the rise of current terminology of the rainbow community. 🌈

I’m curious to know if any of my blog viewers have known about this terminology. Am I old-school now that I am in my mid 30s and losing touch with the latest and re-emerging lingo?

For those who, like me don’t know, it is a marriage of convenience. A lavender marriage may be an option to one or two closeted members of LGBTQIA+ community who marry each other, usually a gay man and a lesbian who may not be in a culture that is open to homosexuality and/or criminalizes it. Or for their own personal reasons. Some feel the need to hide a part of who they are.

It was mainly a thing for Old Hollywood where stars would have been completely shunned if they were openly homosexual. This particular phrase isn’t one I grew up hearing but perhaps that’s because homosexuality was still taboo for a lot of people in my generation although not as much as the generations before me.

So maybe some people in their 30s and over are in lavender marriages still today due to a fear of being shunned and discriminated against. This fills me with sorrow and speaks a lot about society today and how far we still have to go.

It is sad when a love that is natural is still frowned upon by many people in all sorts of countries and religious organizations. It makes me a bit teary eyed to think that people are still forced to hide due to discrimination and, in some countries, the death penalty.

Have you heard this term before?

Have you or anyone you know been in one?

What is your opinion on lavender marriages?

I would love to know your thoughts on this topic.